Five Go Mad in Devon

It seems the lunacy of dragging ourselves accross from one English coast to the other is going to happen. In only a few weeks we will be setting off to Devon. Ill equipped, ill prepared and with this weather, ill.

Naturally, I am really looking forward to it. My only fear is not being able to work for a week. Yikes! What will I do? Well I'm going to look for suitable equipment to take of course. A very small, lightweight laptop with a good battery life and a solar panel I can attach to the back of a rucksack. GPRS too perhaps, wallet permitting.

Guilty Pleasures?

Every now and then I find myself going to Teddington Studios to see what offerings are coming up in the future of entertainment. Last night was one of those evenings. It was a pilot for a show called Guilty Pleasures hosted by a chap called Rob whose last name escapes my memory almost as quickly as the show. He confessed that he is fairly new to this presenting lark and seemed likeable enough and full of that presenter energy which seems so important. TV personality is a little like a giant Wonka bar once transmitted – it becomes almost normal perhaps even dilute when it reaches the viewers’ screens.

While queuing up to be seated, researchers handed out some basic questionnaires which we could enter some guilty pleasures of our own to be shared with the viewing public. For some reason I could find nothing that I take pleasure in that I feel guilty about. Is there something wrong with me?

The basis of the show is a celebrity shares their guilty pleasures with the host and they chat about them in a variety of prepared sets to make it a little more interesting. Then the audience confesses their guilt to each of these pleasures and the least popular is considered the worst. End of show.

I really doubt this will make it to our screens. It’s not dreadful, in fact I have seen much worse (the series Over The Rainbow for example was far, far worse.) I even think it actually has merit, but there is just something about it that doesn’t work.

What porn link description am I?

Subtitle: A Gentlemans Guide to the Glamour Arts

Over a few beers last night, I decided it was time for me to write my porn link generator. I’ve done a little research on the subject (ahem) and it seems that there is a certain translation needed for these things and it could be amusing to write this.

For example, “Redhead NN plumper posing” translates as “pictures of a fat ginger girl with her clothes still on”. Ignoring the context of these pictures (a porn site), you could be mistaken for thinking they are not pornographic, I am inclined to agree with you but this is part of the fun.

BrunetteĀ  MILF toying” = “an old woman who is possibly too ugly, even for a paid actor”

I’ll try and write the generator over the weekend. The idea will be that you make a few selections and tick a few boxes and it will generate your porn link description. Check back for updates.

And so it begins…

I have never been a particularly diligent diarist. I think it has something to do with procrastination. As a youth I tried many times to keep a diary and it usually resulted in a month or two of at least an A4 page of very personal notes in beautiful handwriting. Then nothing.

The benefit of a blog of course is that you don’t end up with a year’s page per day diary with only a few entries in it – I can write as often as I like and it ends up in tidy sequence. Let’s see how far I get with that eh šŸ˜‰